Friends: You free later tonight? Me: I got plans My plans:
Cop: ever been arrested? Dog: yeah for burying a bone Cop: where? Dog: in your mom Cop: THIS ISN'T A JOKE FLUFFY
Me going to annoy the only person who supports me
Danielle Ivgi I'm first world poor which means I have a smartphone and a laptop just so I can go online and check that I have $5 left in my bank account.
Food:*Drops* Me:*Picks it up in 4.98 sec* Bacteria: IS. CACHET
8 years old me after saying " Ladies first " to my male friend.
i left you a surprise on your pillow omg no way i love u so much
When someone is crying and you don't know what to do u want water?
Me: Wanna hang out? Friend: Sure Us:
woman
me wondering why
the dishwasher is
accusing me
of sexism
yelling
When you're walking downstairs and accidentally step two steps down
prime video Nooo, we can't release the season all at once because we want people to keep talking about our show for a longer time N Here's a whole season bro, you can do whatever the f**k you want with it
deers when 2 tons of deers when a steel is coming towards branch cracks them at 60mph
SOCIETY COLLAPSING AROUND US ME LOOKING AT FUNNY INTERNET PICTURES ECPD 4N60